Spy Chimp Discovers a Chimpsassination Plot
Now let’s see here…………………
It all started when Spy Chimp took a vacation
Well not exactly a vacation
Chimps don’t get vacation
They were chimps under Chimp Empire overlords
But Spy Chimp didn’t want to work so he told Boss Chimp he had monkey pox
They didn’t want no filthy monkey disease!
They were chimps!
So the boss told him to stay away until he was better
And Spy Chimp decided to leave for a vacation
Spy Chimp decided to head somewhere tropical
Where there were lots of nanners
And nanneritas
Like a margarita with nanners
Spy Chimp decided to go to Bananahamas
Tropical islands with lots of banana plantations and special nanners
Spy Chimp brought all his favorite things
He even bought something called a “banana hammock”
He wasn’t sure what that was
Probably something to hold nanners
But it had the name banana in it so he thought it was a good purchase!
Maybe it was a hammock you could eat nanners in
Spy Chimp packed his bags and went to the Bananahamas
He spent a lot of chimp bucks on this vacation
I mean sick time
Spy Chimp was determined to take some time off and enjoy the nanners
FIRST CLASS
He sipped a nannertini on the way
Spy Chimp wanted some time to sip nanneritas by the beach!
And try out whatever a banana hammock was
It was getting delivered by Chimp Express
He got to his hotel
The hotel Chimpton
And checked into his room
And
Hey wait a minute!
There was someone already in his room!
What the chimp?!?
Spy Chimp ought to complain to someone!
He would tell that manager what the chimp was going on!
He would
Uh
Wait
Spy Chimp had gone in someone else’s room on accident
Oops
Spy Chimp found his actual room and unpacked all his “sick time” things
Spy Chimp was embarrassed 🙈
But he wasn’t gonna let that stop him from having a good time
Spy Chimp had lots of time for fun and relaxation
I mean
RECOVERY TIME
YEAH YEAH RECOVERY
CAUSE HE FEELS SOOOO TERRIBLE
That’s why he’s staying at a 5 star chimp hotel
It’s basically hospital
It’s like
A necessity
Super important
He spent time at the beach
And went fishing and tree climbing
Spy Chimp went boating
Spy Chimp was not a good boat driver
He spent time drinking nannerjitos
I mean
MEDICINE
And bananamosas
I mean
COUGH SYRUP
Oh yeah
Lots of recovery time
He even went biking around Bananahamas one day
I mean
PHYSICAL THERAPY
Very important for recovering from monkey pox
It’s a devastating illness😔
Eventually Spy Chimp decided he wanted a tour of the nanner plantations
And maybe he would sample some of the exotic nanners they grew there for the Bananarama festival
And the special ones for chimp royalty
Spy Chimp went on tour of nanner plantations
There was regular nanners
Big nanners
Bananarama nanners
And even special tiny bite size baby nanners
Spy Chimp paid lots of chimp bucks for special secret tour
So he got to sample all the special nanners
Spy Chimp even got special hat
After the tour ended they were allowed to hike through the plantations
Spy chimp eventually spotted the special royal nanner plantation behind a great big gate!
Man he wondered what those royal nanners tasted like
He of course, had never had a royal nanner of any kind
It was Al chimpone who had eaten all those royal nanners that one time!
Deffffffinitely not Spy Chimp
That’s for sure
He also hadn’t remembered actually eating them
Soooo
Hey wait a minute!!!
There were chimps doing something suspicious
They had some kind of flying machine
And somehow it was able to float in the air!
The magic machine flew high over the nanner plantation and was spraying something the nanners with something!
All of a sudden the nanners got even bigger!
And shinier!
They looked super amazing now!!!
What the chimp?
Were royal nanners just being sprayed with chemicals?
And they weren’t actually special?!?!?
They had a guest chimp with them
HEY
THAT WAS A CHIMP ON THE TOUR WITH SPY CHIMP
WAS HE GETTING SPECIAL TREATMENT?!?!?
GETTING TO SAMPLE ROYAL NANNERS?!?!?
Spy chimp was furious!!!
How come he didn’t get special treatment???
Oh
My chimp
He ate a royal nanner
What the chimp!?!?!?
The chimp that ate the royal nanner DIED
[9:36 PM]
He just
[9:36 PM]
Just
[9:36 PM]
PERISHED
[9:36 PM]
HE JUST GONE
[9:37 PM]
DEAD AS A CHIMP NAIL
How did a royal nanner kill a chimp?
[9:38 PM]
They were special amazing super nanners reserved only for the highest level chimps@
[9:38 PM]
Including the chimp government and chimparliament
[9:38 PM]
And the chimp queen herself!
[9:38 PM]
Spy chimp couldn’t believe it!
[9:39 PM]
Were those chimps…. POISONING THE ROYAL NANNERS?!?!?
We’re the chimps planning to kill the royal chimphood????
[9:40 PM]
Spy chimp didn’t know what to do
[9:40 PM]
He knew he should call his boss
[9:40 PM]
But that would mean admitting he faked being sick to being in bananahamas
[9:40 PM]
And spy chimp didn’t want to get in trouble
[9:41 PM]
Spy chimp knew what to do!
[9:41 PM]
If he caught them then they would totally forget he chimped on the boss and was lying to get out of work!
[9:41 PM]
He had to find out more
[9:42 PM]
Who were the chimps@with the magic machines
Spy Chimp decided to follow them
They laughed and hid the perished chimp and then they left the plantation
They got in a car and sped away!
Spy chimp stole a bananavan and followed them
They kept driving and laughing about that chimp tourist they killed!
And saying they were going to kill the Chimperment and the Chimparliament!
Spy Chimp tailed them and tried to figure out who these chimps were!
He followed them to a nanner warehouse
They got out and went inside
Spy Chimp hid in the nanner van
He hoped to gather chimptel and find out who the chimp boss was!
He hid for a long time
Watching and waiting
Eventually he couldn’t wait any longer
He had to get a closer look!
He crept towards the warehouse and hid behind some bushes
🐒
Spy Chimp was looking out
Wait what
BONK
🐒 🔨🐒
💥
🐒💤
🐒💤🔨🐒
Spy Chimp had been knocked out!
Spy Chimp woke up some time later!
What the chimp!
The warehouse was empty!
Except
It was the boss chimp!
WAIT
NOT JUST ANY BOSS CHIMP
IT
IT WAS
IT WAS SPY CHIMP’S BOSS
IT WAS HIS BOSS CHIMP!
Spy Chimp was confused!!!!
How had he gotten there!
What was his boss doing!
Uh oh
He asked boss chimp if he was in trouble for faking monkey pox
Boss Chimp told Spy Chimp he was great big chimp dummy
Couldn’t figure out that Boss Chimp was in charge here
What a dumb chimp!
One of the worst spy chimps he had ever seen!
Spy Chimp didn’t understand!
HE WAS THE ONE TRYING TO KILL CHIMPERMENT AND CHIMP ROYALS????
BUT WHY
BOSS CHIMP HAD GOOD JOB
LOTS OF NANNERS
LOTS OF CHIMP BUCKS
Why would he want to commit high chimp treason
And kill royals with tainted nanners
Actually wait
WHY WOULD HE RUIN PERFECTLY GOOD NANNERS WITH POISON
oh right
For murder
Duh
Spy Chimp forgot
Spy Chimp asked Boss Chimp why he did it!
Boss Chimp said that he was tired of chimp government
And dealing with chimps like Spy Chimp
And not getting more nanners
And no paid vacation!
And no health benefits!
They don’t even have chimp dental!!!
The Princess Kingdom had all those things!
Why not Chimp Empire!
The double agent chimp had opened his eyes!
But getting chimps out of the Chimp Empire wasn’t enough!
They all had to die
And what better way to get rid of royal chimps than giving them nanners they could never resist
They would be the chimp hand of their own chimping death!
And Boss Chimp would step in to take power!
And he had an army of chimps who wanted a cut of the nanners and banana cream pie that only the royals got!
They deserved royal nanners too!
Spy Chimp couldn’t believe it!!!
Boss chimp was going to assassinate royal chimps and become supreme chimptator!!!
Boss Chimp untied Spy Chimp!
And told him that he should join their cause
Help them take down the royal chimps
And then everyone would get royal nanners!
It would be chimpunism
Spy Chimp was tempted……
But he didn’t want to make nanners into murder weapons
That went against his nanner loving instincts!!!
And also murder is bad
Or something
But the nanners!
Spy chimp asked why Chimp Boss would let him go?
What if he didn’t want to kill royal chimps!
Boss Chimp shrugged
He didn’t care
Join him or not
It’s not like Spy Chimp could stop him
Spy Chimp wasn’t his best agent
Or even a threat to Boss Chimp
He would probably just trip over his own tail for a chance at a nanner and forget all about him
…….Or he would if he knew what was good for him
Spy Chimp said he couldn’t allow nanners to be used for crimes!
Where would it stop!
Mass nannercide?
Concealed carry nanners?
Nanner permits and allowances?
Would he have to go to a safe nanner use station every day?
He didn’t like the chimperment
But he didn’t want his boss to be the chimperor or supreme chimptator!
And frankly Boss Chimp was being a meanie
Boss Chimp didn’t care
He had his goons drag Spy Chimp out the door and threw him into the ocean!
Spy Chimp didn’t know what to do
He had no backup
No chimps would believe him
And how would he explain that royal nanners had been poisoned!?!?
Spy Chimp wanted to give up
Eventually he found a boat and got in
Maybe it would be better if he just left the Chimp Empire altogether
Maybe he could start his own nanner farm
But Spy Chimp knew he couldn’t make that work
Not because he was a bad farmer but because he would eat all the nanners immediately
That’s no way to run a business
He didn’t know what to do
All he knew was he wanted to go to Bananarama in the Bananahamas before he left
They had so many nanners there
And it might be his last chance before his boss became supreme chimperor
So he drove the boat back to the island
He wanted one last day of fun before he left it all behind
Spy Chimp didn’t understand where all the poisoned nanners were gonna go
How would Boss Chimp make sure that all the royals ate them at the same time?
That seemed like a lot of chimping work
Then Spy Chimp realized!!!!!
BANANARAMA
Royal chimps would be there
And the chimperment
And chimplebrities
That’s where boss chimp would bring the poisoned nanners!!!!
Spy Chimp couldn’t let them tarnish Bananarama with a political coup!!!!
Or murder!!!!
That would tarnish nanners and Bananarama!!!!!
And also murder is bad
So he should probably stop that
Spy Chimp sped off to the banana festival!
In the distance he could see Boss Chimp giving speech!
He was presenting the royal nanners to the chimperment!
That CHIMP
that absolute ORANGUTAN
TRYING TO RUIN BANANARAMA
Spy Chimp was so mad he had to get a snack
He was getting hangry
He bent down to grab a nanner he had brought on the nanner plantation tour
Then Spy Chimp bumped his head on the boat steering!
Darn that made him mad! 😡🐒
🍌🐒
Spy Chimp would feel better with a nanner
🐒
Much better
Ahhh
Spy Chimp realized
THE BOAT WAS STILL GOING FULL SPEED!
OH NO
HE COULDNT STOP THE BOAT
THE NANNER PEEL WAS STUCK ON THE BRAKES
IT MADE IT TOO SLIPPERY TO PRESS DOWN
MOTHER CHIMPING NANNER PEEL
SPY CHIMP WAS GOING TO COLLIDE WITH THE CEREMONY AT BANANARAMA
NOOOOOOOO
🛥️
🛥️💨💨💨
Spy Chimp couldn’t look
🙈
🐒🛥️💨💨💨
🛥️💨💨
🛥️💨
🛥️
🛥️💀🐒
Boss chimp
Was
SQUISHED UNDERNEATH THE BOAT
SPY CHIMP LOOKED AROUND AND SAW HE WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BANANARAMA CEREMONY
HE HAD SQUISHED THE CHIMP BOSS
Immediately everyone rushed for Spy Chimp
He had defiled Bananarama!
And also squished a chimp
But mainly the Bananarama thing!!!!!
They had all faked being sick to be here gosh darn it!
They wanted their royal nanners!
Spy Chimp yelled for them to stop!
There had been a plot to poison the nanners!
And kill all the royal chimps!
And the chimp he squished was responsible!!!!
Nobody believed it!
Poisoned nanners?!?!?
Who would do such a thing???
Spy Chimp promised to prove it!
He took a royal nanner
And went to his squished chimp boss
And told him that a royal nanner could save him!
Boss Chimp didn’t want to die!
And he was awful hungry after being squished
He ate the special nanner!
THE ROYAL NANNER KILLED THE BOSS CHIMP
NOBODY COULD BELIEVE IT!
The chimperment still took him in
They questioned him and found the nanner warehouse
And the other co- chimpspirators
Spy Chimp was set free
But sworn to never tell anyone about what had happened
They made him sign an NDA
A Nanner Disciplinary Agreement
If he ever spoke about it they would never let him have another nanner again
Spy Chimp knew better than to mess with chimperment
He just wanted job and nanners
But the chimperment also wasn’t happy he had ruined Bananarama
They had all told the chimpublic that the nanners had been contaminated and the chimps were sick!
And there had been an accident
And now a chimp was squished and dead
And there were loads of poisoned nanners!
It was a total chimpshit show
So the chimperment told him to forget it ever happened and they wouldn’t send him to chimprison
And would give him extra nanners for his silence
Nobody said a thing
It was known you don’t break a Nanner Disciplinary Agreement
That’s like chimp-tanamo bay
You get barred from nanners in the Chimp Empire forever
But Spy Chimp got a commendation
And extra nanner pay
Spy Chimp was just happy for extra nanners
He went back to work happy with his extra nanners
Munching his nanners whenever he could
Chimperment had to convene and vote in new director of the Nanner Security Agency
Spy Chimp was going to get a new Boss Chimp!
And that’s the story of how Spy Chimp prevented a chimpsassination attempt!